Fashion — ARGHH!

I don’t like shopping for clothes because NOTHING FITS.

I’m too tall. I’m too thin to wear plus-size clothes but I’m too big especially in the chest to wear misses’ sizes. Everything is designed for women with smaller boobs! (I CAN’T “just lose weight” to be smaller in the chest. I was a D-cup when I had a 20 BMI – I could be TOO thin and “the girls” would still be bigger than B.) i don’t look right in the styles for either plus-size or regular sizes either because I’m too big in the chest. Those shift dresses that look GREAT on most women don’t look right on me. Every see that old movie Thoroughly Modern Millie? Remember the scene where she’s trying to get her long flapper necklace to hang right but her boobs keep ruining the line of it and finally she has to put on a bra that flattens everything down? That’s how I feel except there ISN’T any bra I can wear to flatten everything down – sports bras don’t come in my size.

But what about just sewing my own clothes?

Well…

PATTERNS are also made for women who wear B-cup bras. There’s a thing called making a full-bust adjustment but it’s a pain and some styles just dont’ work with that kind of change anyway.

I LOVE the look of maxi skirts. (It has nothing to do with wanting to dress “modestly.” Screw modesty and the horse it rode in on! I just like the look of long skirts. After all, most of the dresses I own are medieval-style ones so of course I am more used to long skirts than short ones!) I’m tall so I should look good in those, at least. But… The ones in stores are too short for me. They’re supposed to reach my feet or at least ankles abut they don’t. And I’m supposed to be wearing these skirts with HEELS? Not going to happen! They don’t fit when I’m wearing flats or sandals (and also I don’t wear heels — I’m tall enough as it is, thanks). I would wear maxi skirts and jean jackets all year round if I could find skirts that fit me. Or if I could find fabric that would work for those skirts – knits are best but the stores around here don’t sell much and I don’t like buying fabric i can’t touch first to make sure i like how it feels.

I HATE skinny jeans because I don’t like pants that feel like they’re going to fall off any minute. If I could find skinny jeans that weren’t low rise maybe I’d wear them, but I can’t find any – at least not in my size. BIGGER, sure, and of course smaller, but not for in-between me. And they’re too short, just like most clothes.

Like a lot of women I have a “virtual closet” on Pinterest. I call mine “Clothes I wish I could wear.” Mostly I can’t wear the things I pin there because I just don’t have any REASON to own clothes like that. Or there’s that PERFECT dress – dark olive green maxie dress like a floor-length henley, OMG I love it! – but the largest size it’s made in only fits a 36-inch chest. 36 inches is “extra large”??? AND… it’s too short. Of course. It gives me ideas though, because I CAN make my own dress in the same style. I’m keeping an eye out for the right fabric…

Here’s something that might get me some “hate mail”: I DON’T LIKE ALABAMA CHANIN CLOTHES. I like the idea of handmade clothes and I even like the silhouettes of THOSE clothes but I don’t like the – to me – sloppy stitching in how they’re made. Why go to the effort of making clothes by hand and then make them so badly? I want MY clothes to be perfectly sewn with tiny neat stitches and pretty applique decoration that ISN’T about to unravel. Lots of sewists copy Alabama Chanin though, so maybe I should make my own stuff that’s like that but TIDY.

This is why when I’m not wearing my medieval style dresses for SCA events I’m just wearign jeans and t-shirts. It’s easier than trying to find more fashionable clothes that fit me and don’t look weird.

 

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